As a freshman at MIT, Nick eagerly volunteered to be a Big, and was matched with his Little Brother Evan in November, 2007. At the time, Evan was nine years old and struggling – with school, with his peers, and with his emotions. In fact, Nick says that the early days of their relationship were quite challenging - Evan’s peculiar demeanor and communication style made it tough for the two to connect. And Evan’s mom was struggling too – trying hard to raise her only child as a single parent, and hoping that a Big Brother could help him in ways that she could not.
Nick got through the difficult early times and “stuck it out” with Evan, and soon his efforts began to pay off. He discovered that Evan really wanted to be involved in sports and outdoor activities, but rarely did so because of his difficulties in relating to others. Nick says, “The first time we went skating, the first time we went hiking, those are really great memories for me. These were activities that he couldn’t really do with his mom, and never got a chance to do with friends. You could just see him getting all excited, and seeing that look on his face really made me happy.”
Nick is a varsity hockey and lacrosse athlete, and Evan – along with his mom – started attending Nick’s games. According to Nick, “I think they’ve missed maybe two home hockey games in two years – they’re like our biggest fans.” Nick says that Evan has taken a real interest in playing organized hockey and baseball – two activities he would never have considered prior to their match. And Nick says “I see Evan getting along with his teammates and really enjoying himself. It’s great to watch.”
Evan’s mom, Trudy, is thrilled with the changes she’s seen in her son, and cannot say enough about the impact that Nick has had on Evan’s life. She has been amazed by how well their relationship has worked out:
Nick was a freshman at MIT, played on a hockey team, spoke Spanish, and lived about a 1/2 mile from our home; he appeared to be the perfect Big for Evan … Nick took Evan bike riding, played catch with him, taught him how to ice skate, and just spent time with him. He invited Evan to watch one of his hockey games at MIT, the first hockey game Evan and I had seen. Soon I was taking Evan to Nick's games regularly, and Evan would stand at the edge of the rink and fist bump the players as they exited the ice. I began to hear from Evan's teachers that he was talking about his Big Brother at school and how his Big Brother played hockey. His 4th grade teacher told me that she knew when Evan had seen his Big because in class the next day he was happy and better able to stay on task. On in class writing assignments, Evan sometimes wrote about what he and Nick had done last time they got together. He drew pictures of hockey players shooting pucks into a net. He froze water in a rectangular cookie sheet and taped goal zones onto the ice and using makeshift hockey sticks and pucks he played miniature hockey on the living room floor. Finally one night out of the blue, Evan told me that Nick was the Big Brother that he had always wanted. "Mommy, isn't it weird that I wished and wished for a Big Brother exactly like Nick and I got what I wished for?"
Nick has one more undergraduate year, and he is considering staying in Boston for grad school. And while they have not yet talked about what will happen after graduation, Nick is confident that they will remain great friends.
Nick and Evan’s friendship – and the impact it’s had on Evan’s life – is perhaps best exemplified through this story told by Trudy, Evan’s mom:
He started instructional hockey last September. The effect the sport has had on him as been striking. His outward confidence has grown considerably and he seems more mature. Importantly, he's proud to be able to point to something he's good at. He's eager to tell Nick when he's made a goal or a save during his weekend scrimmages. Nick taught him how to skate backwards and how to shoot a puck in the air. Evan loves going to hockey practice and is up and ready on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. for practice.
The MIT hockey coach now recognizes Evan since he attends all of their games. They've given him MIT hockey pucks and a hockey stick. And in November, Nick arranged for Evan to practice with the MIT hockey team. The day of practice I brought Evan to the MIT rink and helped him suit up. Nick gave him an MIT jersey to wear which hit Evan around the knees. In full gear, he came up to chest level on the average MIT player. Evan skated out onto the ice fearlessly and joined the other players and Nick. The head coach had the team perform passing drills, and he told Evan to do the same drills. In one routine, the players were instructed to skate-jump over eight hockey sticks that had been laid out on the ice. Evan jumped over the first stick and then skated around the other sticks; the coach sent him back to the beginning to jump over all of them.
After the drills, Nick's team played a scrimmage game. Evan sat out most of the game until the coach told him to wait by the goalie to assist in a goal. At the end of the scrimmage, the coach set up a shoot out. All the players are off the ice accept the goalie and the shooter. Nick skated out to the middle of the rink alone to show Evan how it's done. He skated with the puck toward the goalie and then hit the puck past the goalie into the net. Nick then told Evan to come out and do the same. Evan skated out to the middle of the rink and stood by himself for about a minute. He and the goalie were the only two on the ice. Then Evan started to skate with the puck toward the goalie. About 5 feet from the net, Evan shot the puck forward into the net (and the goalie nudged it slightly all the way in). The MIT players went nuts banging their hockey sticks on the rink wall and shouting. Then the entire team skated onto the ice toward Evan and surrounded him and cheered him. It was an amazing sight! Evan joined the rest of the team as they skated into a circle in the middle of the rink. The practice ended with a team chant, GO TECH! And then they all dispersed on the ice and Evan skated out from the middle of the circle. Evan told me later that practicing with MIT hockey team was about the happiest day of his life. He absolutely loved being cheered on by Nick and his team. Nick has taught him what inclusion and feeling a part of a team feels like.